Alone and Lonely

So, I really am alone, widowed again. How is that possible? I had the world by the tail and was happier than I've ever been in my life.
I know I'm not alone because I have the best group of friends and the best family but I am alone. And lonely. I don't do lonely well. No one should ever have to feel lonely. Yesterday I began to feel abandoned by Lee. I know he would never ever have intentionally abandoned me but I feel it.
Yesterday was a month since the accident. How could God have allowed that to happen to such a wonderful person? Lee was my best friend, my soulmate and my husband. He did teach me what real, true and unconditional love is. He taught me how a woman should be treated. He taught me that beauty was more than skin deep. He allowed me to let down my guard a little and really let him in to my heart, a place that he will never lose.
When will I be able to take down his last bath towel or move his toothbrush? When will I be able to clean out the closet? When can I wash the last clothes that he wore the day before the accident? When can I? Why did this have to happen? How will I ever be happy again?
Lee, I love you and miss you more than I can ever put in to words. You were the best thing that ever happened in my life. I am so sorry that you had to go so soon. I want you here with me, I want you at work, I want you by my side where we were so happy, I JUST WANT YOU BACK HERE!! I love you.