So easy....

Today I thought how easy it would have been to give up. Just lay down and give up. I stayed with Heather and her family last night then went to church with them this morning. I drove myself home afterwards and that's when I decided I wanted to quit, to give up, to go where Lee is and be with him. If I could just lay down, close my eyes and maybe God would take me to be with Lee. I did lay down and close my eyes but I woke up when the door bell rang. My dear friend Linda had come to spend the afternoon with me. And so the meltdown began...She talked to me while I cried. I told her I wanted to give up and she forbid it. Linsey's boyfriend, James, even talked to me. What a blessing to have Linsey and James moving in with me. At the very least, I know someone will be there. I love my kids and my grandkids and for that reason I must go on. I know they need me but they need me to be in a better place in life than I am right now. For now, I have to let others help me. I have to remind myself to ask people to help. I am nowhere near ready to be alone all the time. Sad and lonely are my 2 worst enemies and it seems they are my constant companions lately. Enough rambling from me tonight.....thank you for listening. Lee, I love you and miss you soooo very much!!